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Letter Bollocks

Sun Jan 11, 2009, 10:57 PM
  • Mood: Neutral
  • Listening to: Cloudstreet
  • Reading: The Pathless Way
  • Watching: Star Trek TNG
  • Playing: the whistle
  • Eating: Butter Chicken
  • Drinking: Water
Dear Mattomeolgeez

I don't really know how to tell you this, but Our romance is over. I think I realized it When I tripped on sesame seeds At the mental hospital and I saw you Sit on My avocado plant. I'm sure you're Man enough to understand That your pimples are at the last stage. I'm returning Your love letters to you, but I'll keep The oil stocks as a memory. You should also know that I Never liked A passionate interest for mice.

Greetings to your freaky family,
-ToTheLeftOi-

I TAG your mum.

RULES:
Do the "Letter MEME". Tag no less than 5 other people, and leave them a comment, informing them that they have been tagged. Then copy the "How-to" Letter Meme, and finish your Journal entry.

-> How you do the Letter Meme:
I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___ .

___12___,
-Your name-



1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister


2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes


3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kabob - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife


4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out


5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk


6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed


7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks


8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service


9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college


10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked


11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics


12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

Devious Journal Entry

Sun Dec 9, 2007, 11:51 PM
  • Mood: Frustrated
LOUSY DA! BE LESS SHIT!

The most evil beverage in existance

Fri Mar 2, 2007, 11:19 AM
  • Mood: Eager
Holy shit, I've not actually tried this drink myself, but when my cousin tried it, he immediately stated "It's like Satan just walked over my tongue!"

Okay, here's what you need:

Vodka
Bundy Rum OP
Coke
Mitsuya Cider (lemonadeish)
Vegetable juice
Pepper

Mix it in whatever quantities, and see how long it takes for you to start hallucinating.

I DEMAND IT!

Mon Feb 19, 2007, 4:27 AM
  • Mood: Eager
If you haven't already, I DEMAND YOU SEE AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH! If you intentionally decide not to see it, or see it and are not moved one iota by it, you will tell me where you live, I will travel there, and PUNCH YOU IN THE HEAD! Climate change affects EVERYONE, and if you cannot see this, then bugger off and let those of us who understand make a difference!

If only I had my video camera...

Wed Feb 14, 2007, 1:23 AM
  • Mood: Mesmerized
  • Listening to: Fire of Heavan / Altar of Earth - Matisyahu
  • Reading: my Japanese homework
  • Watching: Naruto
  • Playing: Gran Tourismo 4, BF2142
  • Eating: Chicken Rogan Josh
  • Drinking: Ocha
Just an image for you to consider...

I was taking a delivery at work today, and as I was heading back in towards town, I was watching the stormclouds pushing up over the Toowoomba Range. Then the rain began, not particularly heavy, but it would soak your clothes in under a minute. I had just come through a roundabout in the work van, heading up a hill, in a Toowoomba suburb called Glenvale, on Glenvale Rd. As I drove up the hill I saw the most amazing image, and felt ashamed that I didn't have anything with me to record it (beside the fact I was driving). As the rain pounded the warm tarmac of the road, hundreds of whisps of mist were floating just above the surface, moving back and forth as the cars passed through it. It was almost hypnotic as it floated with its translucent grace. The most amazing thing I've seen firsthand in a VERY long time.

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